Rusty Spell Dot Com: Happy Valentine's Day 2005

You really should download this short video first for the proper introduction.
(CBS stands for "Carrie Boo Spell.")

For the GLORY!blog Valentine's Day special, I decided to focus on the pet names Hoffalumps and I have for each other. Like see? Hoffalumps: there's one.

First there's baby. There's a baby over there flipping you off. We pretty much started with baby, and we still do the baby thing. And there's baby-baby, and baby-baby-baby. I also call Carrie baby doll sometimes. And baby boo, which leads to "boo."

Here's the Park Ranger scaring Yogi Bear by saying "Boo!!" You'll see later why this is a snake eating its own ass. But, yes, we call each other boo. Young black lovers do it, and we do it too, because we're sort of black. I love my baby. I love my boo.

Which leads to "boo boo." We said "goo goo" a little before saying boo boo. I think goo goo came from a Carol Burnette skit, but I seem to be the only one who thinks that. But boo boo has stuck pretty good. There's Boo Boo over there with a boo boo, which begins the snake eating its ass thing. Look at all that boo boo blood. Sometimes people have blood in their boo boos (you know, their asses) and it's a really bad thing, but Boo Boo here just seems a little sad, maybe needs a Curad.

So here you see Carrie -- who's name is Boo Boo -- with a shirt that has Boo Boo on it with a boo boo saying "I've gotta boo boo." The "gotta" usually means "got to," so Boo Boo could be saying, "I've got to boo boo," which kind of makes sense in our world, since boo boo has become a Smurf-like verb/adjective/noun. For example: "Noby boo booed me the other day with a Netflix suggestion" or "I've got to go to the boo boo room." Boo Boo is probably saying he has to take a grump. Anyway, Carrie looks cute in her boo boo shirt, and she also has a nice boo boo... meaning ass. A nice ass, did you all hear that okay?

Anyways, like I said, a snake eating its own ass.

Here's a picture of me wearing the Boo Boo shirt. Those aren't Carrie's tits. I found a graphic of this shirt on the internet and put my head in it. I'm explaining this because I did such a realistic job Photoshopping this that I figured you'd want to know how I managed to get boobs. But we'll get to boobies later. First I need to point out -- before wrapping up this whole boo boo thing -- that we call each other "boo boo salad." Or if we don't call each other that, we say the phrase a lot. The origin involves the guys from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, so you can see it's too complicated to get into here.

At any rate, here's what a boo boo salad might look like.

Oh, by the way, have you ever noticed that the old Hanna Barbera cartoons had both a Boo Boo and a Ding-a-Ling? Ding-a-Ling was the Boo Boo equivalent for Hokey Wolf, his little sidekick. He always said, "Hey, Hokey..." When my brother was in high school, that phrase became popular for some reason among his friends. Someone yelled it out at graduation at one point.

This is what Ding-a-Ling looks like on the right. On the left is what a real ding-a-ling looks like. You might also prefer to call it a ding-dong (of which I have five) or a penis or an Atari joystick or a red rocket or Russell's Love Muscle or a thing to hold at night while you're sleeping.

So I think we're done with the whole boo boo thing. It's complicated.

But then there's bunny, not as complicated. Let's move on to bunny, okay?

A bunny. This is a pretty cute bunny, eh? There's aren't too many cute pictures of bunnies on the internet, believe it or not. My bunny is a cute bunny. We also call each other "honey bunny." There's a picture of her wearing a "hunny bunny" shirt that I'm not going to put on this page, because we can only have so many pictures, you graphic-sluts you. That's Honey Bunny over there on the right. She's going to be like Fonzie. She's going to be cool.

I sometimes abbreviate bunny to buns, but I won't talk about Carrie's buns again. Just Bunny Bread. We call each other Bunny Bread. I suppose because there is such a thing as Bunny Bread. I've eaten it, I'm sure. There's a good song on the Bunny Bread website that goes. "Bunny Bread... that's what I said." We tend to sing that a good bit too. Carrie also sings a song that goes, "I love my bunny bread. You are my bunny bread. Bunny bunny bunny... bunny for bread." Or variations.

Dovey? Not too exciting, maybe, but it's "dovey," and never just "dove." Unless it's dove-dove-dove.

Whew, am I getting tired! This Valentine's Day stuff'll wear you out if you're not careful. So I'll do one more: boobie. This has nothing to do with titties or jugs or breasts or "the twins" or mammaries or anything like that, but I do call Carrie "boobie." This is a picture of a blue-footed boobie on the right.

And this is a picture of a real boobie, transformed into a mouse, which is cute and maybe a little titalating for some of you out there, cause I like to do favors. Oh yeah... I forgot to put one of those "not for work" warnings up there. Whoops.

So I hope you enjoyed this little trip down Pet Name Lane, where all the cutey-poo names of the world to make you vomit live. As you all know, I guess, I really dig Carrie Hoffman. She's my bunny and my boo and my lovelight and my valentine and all that good stuff. Here's one more picture of her. I love you, Carrie.

Your bunny bear,

Rubby Bulbs.