All songs written by Stephin Merritt.

You Must Be Out of Your Mind

You think I'll run, not walk to you.  Why would I want to talk to you?  I want you crawling back to me, down on your knees, yeah, like an appendectomy sans anesthesia.  If you think you can leave the past behind, you must be out of your mind.  If you think you can simply press rewind, you must be out of your mind, son.  You must be out of your mind...  You want what you turned off turned on.  You call it sunset; now it's dawn.  You can't go round just saying stuff because it's pretty, and I no longer drink enough to think you're witty... You want to kindle that old flame.  I don't remember your real name.  It must be something scandalous lurks in your shallows if you need a Santa Claus to buy your gallows...


The moon-blue rays of magical light festoon her face this beautiful night.  The moon her only lover, but soon even that will be over.  So they climb high in the violet sky, and they dance.  And he'll whisper all his mysteries to her as they dance.  He will fall in love, poor fellow, just when all above turns yellow and the dawn breaks his heart.

We Are Having a Hootenanny

We are havin' a hootenanny now... Do-si-do down to our hoedown, our rootin'-tootin'-hootenanny.  Havin' a hootenanny now.  Come and take our personality quiz... Get the lowdown on our hoedown.  We'll tell you where it is if'n you take our personality quiz.  There'll be somebody there who understands... They won't eat you.  They will greet you and gaze into your eyes, and there'll be somebody there who understands.

I Don't Know What To Say

I don't know what to say... I could say I want you.  That would be a bore.  Maybe in a font you haven't seen before.  I could say I'll haunt you till your dying day.  I could tease and taunt you, but what would I say?  See, I don't know what to say... I could say I crave you still, you little brat.  I could rant and rave.  You know I can do that.  I could say I gave you everything I had.  I could say I'll save you.  You might think me mad.  So I don't know what to say... I could try and lead you down the garden path.  I could say I'll feed you.  You can do the math.  I could say I need you, offer you a ring.  I'll be guaranteed you don't believe a thing... I could try and shove you off the nearest cliff.  I could say I lo...

The Doll's Tea Party

At the dolls' tea party, we fritter away the long afternoon of a warm summer day with extended pinkies and pink cloisonné, cups and saucers and pots, and a Liberty tray.  That's why we take our tea at the dolls' tea party.  At the dolls' tea party, we twitter along.  We prattle and tattle on who's done whom wrong, on who's in, who's out, and who's best at mah-jongg.  Oh, and where to buy fabulous things for a song... But the cakes!  Ah, the cakes are why everyone's there.  They're not dietetic in any way.  Dare to try one and you'll have a few pounds to spare.  Try another one.  What do you care?  At the dolls', we're all in our glittering best.  There will be a test on who's best and worst dressed.  But we won't have it said we're fashion-obsessed.  We're just prettier ladies than most of the rest...

Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree

Everything is one big Christmas tree, all got up with lights and candy.  All the world is turning prettily.  Everyone's awaiting Sandy.  Stop mumbling and cheer up.  Put down the book.  Pick beer up.  Why sit in your dark and lonely room?  Must your every word be sincere?  Here's a vial of laughing gas perfume.  See that people smile when you're near.  If they don't like you, screw them.  Don't leave your fortune to them.  Nein, vielleicht ist Alles nicht ein Traum.  Ist Alles ein Albtraum?  Nich, nicht!  Alles ist ein groβer Tannenbaum.  Rotierend im Weltraumgeschichte.  La la la la la la la... Where can that Sandy be?...

Walk a Lonely Road

When I was a little boy way out in the wood, I had neither friend nor toy.  Never knew I could.  When I found this lonely road, off I walked for good.  When I was a little boy way out in the wood.  Walk a lonely road with me.  I will walk with you.  Half as lonely we will be when we walk as two.  If the road go straight uphill, we'll admire the view.  Walk a lonely road with me.  I will walk with you.  When I was a little girl on the lonesome plain, I had neither pal nor pearl, mostly wind and rain.  One day I set out along a little winding lane.  When I was a little girl on the lonesome plain...

Always Already Gone

I tried hard to keep you.  I needn't have tried.  It seems you'd decided.  When did you decide?  So this is the last time I cry in the dawn.  It seems you were always always already gone.  You never were happy.  You had to be free.  You took all the freedom you needed from me.  Then you and your freedom flew thither and yon.  You're free to be always always already gone.  I couldn't have dreamed you, but I might as well.  You leave me with only a story to tell.  But at the beginning our story is done, because you were always always already gone...

Seduced and Abandoned

Seduced and abandoned, and baby makes two, baby, abandoned by you.  Seduced and abandoned, and what can I do?  I think I might drink a few.  Seduced with a grin, I was taken all in, taken in sin and in shame.  Seduced by a smile, I walked down the aisle, then waited awhile; no one came... Abandoned to weep, I collapsed in a heap, dutifully sleeping all day.  Abandoned to die, I did nothing but cry in my one-ply negligee... Yes, I think I might drink a few, and maybe the baby will too.

Better Things

One winter nights the mermaid sings, "I was made for better things.  Better things, dearie, better things."  In early spring, the ghost princess goes haunting in her pretty dress.  Pretty dress, your majesty, pretty dress.  And I have heard the singing of real birds, not those absurd birds that simply everybody's heard.  Real birds.  In summer when the moon is full, the wolfboy is adorable.  Adorable.  You're adorable.  I have observed the winging of real birds, not those reserved birds that simply everyone's observed.  Real birds.

Painted Flower

I'm just a painted flower on silk brocade.  Left in the sun I will slowly fade, fade to nothing like I'd never been made, like I'd never been made.  I'm just a painted flower, a frozen bloom left alone in some forgotten room.  A fly in amber, I pose in my tomb.  I pose in my tomb.  I'm only drops of paint in a silver frame, without an aim and without a name, gathering dust.  Every day just the same...

The Dada Polka

People of Earth, when you dance, dance the Dada Polka.  Life is only a dream.  When in the mood for romance, dance the Dada Polka.  Be as cute as you seem.  Gyrate like a gyroscope.  Collide like a kaleidoscope.  Freeze!  Do something--anything.  Do something, please.  People of Earth, don't just stand there.  The Dada Polka is as fun as it sounds.  Move hips and hands when the band plays the Dada Polka.  You may lose a few pounds.  Gyrate like a gyroscope.  Collide like a kaleidoscope.  Change!  Do something--anything.  Do something strange.  People of Mars, you too must do the Dada Polka.  It's the meaning of life.  Fill any partner with lust?  Do the Dada Polka!  Soon there'll be a new wife.  Gyrate like a gyroscope.  Collide like a kaleidoscope.  Do.  Do something--anything.  Do something blue.  Do something--anything.  Do something a little out of character; it won't kill you.  Do something--anything.  Do something true.

From a Sinking Boat

In the middle of the night, with a sickening sound, this little boat ran aground.  The mast is twisted; the hull is breached.  One high tide and it'll be beached.  If I could walk, I'd walk away, but I haven't slept since yesterday.  The ink is sinking; the page is blurred.  And I can't read a single word, but know that I love you.  Know that I wrote my last words to you from a sinking boat.

Copyright (c) May 2010 by The Distant Plastic Treehouse