Michael Bay

Director of huge movies like Bad Boys, Armageddon, and Pearl Harbor.

The Island (2005) -- Okay, so it's a big dumb Michael Bay movie. I liked it. It was fun to watch indiekids Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson run around in an expensive sci-fi rip-off of 1984, Logan's Run, Soylent Green, etc. It's not something I'd ever watch again (unless it came on Cinemax and I was bored), but it's good while it's on.

Transformers (2007) -- I never liked Transformers as a kid (I was more of a Go-Bot kind of guy), so I knew I wouldn't have my feelings hurt if the movie weren't true to the toys or show or whatever. So, as an objective viewer who was watching this simply as a movie, I can say that it was a pretty big mess. Shia LeBeouf had charm, but he was about the only thing worth watching. Most of the movie was underwear jokes or big blurs of turds smeared across the screen. I know for a fact that these CG shots had to be planned out and worked on endlessly, but you'd never know it. It looks worse than boys holding their toys too close to the camera and banging them into each other.